It is important not to lose sight of pursuing your own personal development. Love should be a force that helps to expend your life and bring forth your innate potential with fresh and dynamic vitality. that is the ideal but, as the saying 'love is blind' illustrates, people often lose all objectivity when they fall in love.
the qns is: does that person inspire you to work harder? does their presence make you more determined to devote greater energy to school, be a better friend, a more thoughtful son or daughter? do they inspire you to realise your goals and work to achieve them? or is that person your central focus, overshadowing all else.if your neglecting the things you should be doing, forgetting your purpose in life because of the relationship your in, then your on the wrong path. a healthy relationship is one in which two people encourage to reach their respective goals while sharing each others hope and dream.
rather than becoming so love-struck that you create a world where only the two of you exist, it is much healthier to learn from those aspects of your partner that you respect and admire,and continue to make efforts to improve and develop yourself. "love is not two person gazing at each other, but two people looking ahead together in the same direction." it follows than that both partners share similar values and beliefs.
please don't live without directions but, rather, pursue a life of meaning and purpose. the most important thing is for you to do your very best in the endeavors you have to concentrate on now. through such efforts, you will grow into individuals who have truly wonderful futures ahead of you. far too many people nip their own brilliant promise in the bud because of their blind pursuit of love.
however much you may try, you can never run away from yourself. if you remain weak, suffering will only follow you wherever you go. you will never find happiness if you don't change yourself from within. happiness is not something someone else, for a instance, a love can give you. you have to achieve it yourself. and the only way to do so is by developing your own character and capacity as a human being; by fully maximizing your potential. if you sacrifice your own growth and talent for love, you will absolutely not find happiness. true happiness is obtained through fully realizing your own potential.
many young women prove extremely vulnerable to the insistent advances of the opposite sex. they act as though stunned and lose the ability to make calm, rational decisions. it is precisely for this reason that young women must develop inner strength and self-respect. since they are the ones who most often get hurt, they have every right to assert their dignity and look after their own welfare.
Ideal love is fostered only between two sincere, mature and independent people. It is the inner struggle to polish these attributes that is the key. Real love is not two people clinging to each other; it can only be fostered between two strong people secure in their individuality. a shallow person will only have shallow relationships. if you want to experience real love, it is important to first sincerely develop a strong self-identity. true love is not about doing whatever the other person wants you to do or pretending you are something you're not.
you're only letting yourself down if you succumb to unhealthy obsessions in your youth or are so blinded by love that you can't see anything else. no matter what, you must always do your best to live courageously. youth is not a time for pessimism or self-pity and sadness. please have the confidence and fortitude to think to yourself when you face rejection: "it's their loss if they can't appreciate how wonderful i am." this is the kind of resilient spirit you must strive to cultivate.
please don't let a broken heart discourage you. tell yourself that you're not so weak or fragile as to let such a minor thing bring you down. you may think there is no one who could possibly compare to that person, but how will they compare to the next hundred, next thousand? as you yourself grow, the way you look at people will change as well.
you must become strong, even your sadness will become a source of nourishment, and the things that make you suffer will purify your life. only when you experience crushing, painful depths of suffering can you begin o understand the true meaning of life. precisely because you have experience great suffering, it is imperative that you go on living. the important thing is to keep moving forward. if you use your sadness as a source of growth, you will become a person of greater depth and breath and even a more wonderful you. this is the harvest of your pain and suffering.
hold your head high. because you have lived with all your might, you are a victor. you must not sink into depression or take a path that leads to self-destruction.
if there is someone you like, what's wrong with holding onto that feeling inside your heart for a while and resolving to polish yourself so that you can become the kind of person they, or anyone, would be really proud to be with? such a spirit of self development is most admirable.
Hokkien Mee
